Letter of the week


My mother died in January 2011 and I offered my stepfather a home with my
husband and myself, 120 miles away from where he was living. During the two
years he was living with us, I gradually realised what a dreadful mistake I
had made as I watched our newly retired and long awaited lifestyle
deteriorate into a round of unpleasant altercations and unending household
duties. My stepfather recently paid the rest of our mortgage off. The
alternative would have been for us to go and live in our apartment in Spain.
Despite this, the situation became so bad that I made the decision for my
husband and myself to move out into rented accommodation, which we have very
recently done. Now he is constantly blaming me for the position he finds
himself in, saying he would never have come if he had known this would
happen, he would never have paid the mortgage off and that he is miserable
on his own. He has threatened suicide, cutting us out of his will and that
he will never change his sheets because he has never done it in his life and
he’s not going to start now. My sister is very supportive, but she is not
here and doesn’t have to take all this flack. Is there anything you could
say or do to ease my burden?

p.s. My husband has had a few rather nasty slanging matches with him and
probably wouldn’t be able to sit down calmly and talk to him anymore.

Sheila B.